AILSA CHANG, HOST:
Every week, a guest draws a card from NPR's Wild Card deck and answers a big question about their life. Brett Goldstein is known for playing Roy Kent in the TV series "Ted Lasso," which is returning for another season this summer. He also currently stars in the Netflix movie "Office Romance" with Jennifer Lopez. When he spoke with Wild Card host Rachel Martin last year, he talked about how empathy plays into his work.
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RACHEL MARTIN: What does age teach you about love?
BRETT GOLDSTEIN: I read something that Steve Martin said, that he found stand-up harder as he got older because - maybe not stand-up. Forgive me for misquoting. He found the comedy part harder because he had more empathy for people, so it was harder to be mean. And I guess that's where comedy was. I think if you look hard enough at anyone, you can love them. And I do really mean that. I don't mean that in a cheesy way.
MARTIN: No, I know.
GOLDSTEIN: I mean it like - me at my worst, like, I'm saying this - I don't, you know, want to hang out with people. (Laughter) But, like, you know, if you're, like, just trapped with somebody - like, [expletive] this person's so boring, this person's so [expletive] - that's on you. Like, I have to right - ask the right question. And I'm sure there is a key to this person, that if I ask the right question, I will suddenly be flooded with love for them, you know?
MARTIN: Yeah. Yeah, I do. No. But can I nudge on that? How did you...
GOLDSTEIN: No.
MARTIN: ...Come to that realization?
GOLDSTEIN: I think I've had this cycle with people. I have it where - I have it often, and I tried to make the cycle shorter. But I've had it on jobs or something where there's a person that I will instantly dislike, someone I'll be like, oh, this [expletive]. Like, whether they trigger me or, you know, something about them, I find so annoying or they're so [expletive] pathetic. Something about them - I'm like, God, they're so needy. I don't know what it is, something. I'm like, get this person away from me. And then something will happen along the way. A couple of weeks in, I'll see something, I'll see anything. And suddenly, I will fight to the death for that person. Like, I'll be like, I love - I have so much love for them.
MARTIN: Are you good at telling people after you've come to that - like, that arc?
GOLDSTEIN: What? Do I go, I used to be...
MARTIN: Like, I really thought you were an...
GOLDSTEIN: No, no. They wouldn't - I hope they wouldn't know. I wouldn't say, I thought you were an absolute nightmare, and I was wrong. Because often, they still are, and there's a certain type of person where it's like, you are still a nightmare, but I've now found a way to...
MARTIN: Right. That's right.
GOLDSTEIN: ...Have empathy and love you.
MARTIN: And they probably...
GOLDSTEIN: You haven't stopped being a nightmare.
MARTIN: ...Think the same about you.
GOLDSTEIN: No, come on.
(LAUGHTER)
GOLDSTEIN: Don't be ridiculous.
CHANG: And you can watch that full conversation by searching for Wild Card NPR on YouTube or on the NPR app.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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